I hadn’t done a Small, Short and To The Point in a while.
Ye Olde Greene Screene
Some stuff just makes me want to go back in time to use it in context. Imagine what it would have been like to play this baby on your cast iron coal-powered brick-sized Gameboy (those of you who weren’t fœti or testicular cells at the time, that is), and some time later linking with friends to bash each other’s heads in during recess.
Those were the… will be the… not… haven’t been… never mind.
Playing Super Smash Bros. without a controller is like skiing using your hands for poles. In fact, if Mr. Fornace had included controller support, he could have also removed the jumping command from the A button and therefore allow for a greater and less awkward set of moves.
I can live with only 6 characters (2 of which are secret), Kirby being unable to copy powers, even Pikachu’s incredibly annoying 8-bit voice emulation, but the controller flaw is unforgivable.
Luckily, if there’s anything The Binding of Isaac has taught me (other than that fat moms in flower dresses have a tendency to become fundamentalist murderers) is that there is a nifty tool called Joy2Key to compensate for that.
This still does not exculpate the defendant.